|Fedora: Vintage, Leather Jacket: Berskha, Top (Just seen) Disco Pony Reworked, Pink Pants: Zara (ikh, still mad!!!) Booties: ACNE|
So, whilst I have exceeded my photobucket space already, I thought now would be the perfect time to do this post "On Having The Wrong Type Of Acne!" This is something I am sure applies to a whole heap of people, but something that never, ever feels like it does... It's a lonely, painful, aggravating affliction that does wonders to lower a girls (or guys- obv!) self esteem.
Whilst owning a piece of ACNE is possibly as good as owning a Disco Pony piece (kudos for my not so subliminal advertising there!), actually HAVING acne is not. No, not at all. It sucks!
Now, I am a girl who happens to have both, and sadly, I suffer from both types, as my shoes are far too small for me and hurt like a mother f****r! However, normally, suffering should only occur with the second type of acne I speak of!
I think having actual acne must be pretty up there on the list of least fashionable things right? Hence I decided it must be talked about- because as a "fashionista" (Not sure how I feel about calling myself that... will mull it over and change when I can think of something more appropriate/correct!) I am always portraying my take on trends, and fashion etc, but you rarely will see me show "The Other Side"- The dark, sore faced side!
One thing I have never, ever, everrr seen go out of fashion is having nice skin! I mean... there has been a whole load of different variations to "Fashionable Skin" over the years, but I'm preeeettttyyy sure that I've never seen acne on the trend cards! Right?! RIGHT!
So, what is a girl to do when she has it, when the world feels like its completely against you enjoying your youthful, non wrinkly skin...? I actually don't have all the answers... BUT I DO have a few! All of which I will share with you in great detail when I give Photobucket some money, and it lets me resume posting!!! But for now, I wanted to share my acne story with you, because, you never know... It might apply! Here goes...
When I was young, I never needed anyone... and making love was just for fun... KIDDING... sorry, I had to do that, I started with "When I was young!" Try again,
When I was young... I (agh, it's actually really hard not to repeat that!!!) I had supppperrrr, duuuuperrrr, clear as water skin. It lasted me all through the usual awkward stages of teendom, right up until I was 16... when I thought it would be a good idea to take the pill in order to make my boobs bigger! Yep! I honestly dont regret much in my life more than that decision, especially now that I embrace my non boobs and sleeping on my front, no woes! I think about a week into taking that evil little thing, my face started to break out into these tiny pimples all over my forehead. At the time, I was actually completely happy with this, as I thought it must be working, and my boobs were about to become HUGE! Er, NO! The pimples just kept on coming, and I for reasons unbeknown did not think to get off that thing as soon as possible! So, instead, I went through about 6 different variations of the thing that were supposed to help with acne. The problem is, if you dont have acne or crazy hormones to begin with, the pill just gives them all to you! The phrase "If it ain't broken, don't fix it" springs to mind... So if anybody out there is reading this who is young enough to be thinking about taking that little white devil... I must tell you, if you have clear skin, and no boobs... don't do it! Just be happy with your face, and sleep on your front and dont wear a bra with great pleasure!!! Trust me, it's the wisest choice!
So.. I could actually go on about this for a really long time, mainly because it lasted a really long time before I thought to come off it! I did, and it helped a lot, but my hormones were already completely screwed up... so at the mere suggestion of a stressful event, my face would explode into the most painful, red, sore, miserable, owchiness, and I would spend days alternating between crying and picking at it.
This literally went on for YEARS... I have so many horror stories I could spend hours writing about, but I really ought to wait until you ask, else I could have a very silent blog on my hands!
I think the worst time was when I started working in the City (London)- as in the "Financial district" and just in finance in general really. My stress levels literally sky rocketed, and despite my huge amounts of income I was suddenly earning, none of it could buy clear skin! Much to the annoyance of my boss at the time, I started coming into work in a baseball cap! Now, when you work in finance, this is not really allowed per say! I started a lazer treatment at this time which cost me thousands of pounds... the offending treatment was called N-Lite, if anybody has heard of it and was thinking of trying it... please, don't do it... it's a complete scam, and will leave you with a VERY sore face indeed and possible bankruptcy! I will never forget going to Harley Street as in cognito as possible... I'm talking scarves, hats, and sunglasses here, even in rain! You couldn't have the treatment with make up on, nor could you cover up the redness afterwards, so I always left the practice feeling broke, sore and HIGHLY self conscious. I then had to go back to work, which was even worse, as I worked in a completely male office, and I am more than sure I wasn't hired in the first place for my mathematical skills if you get what I mean!!! Needless to say, I got fired from this job... I was so depressed and introverted from my skin that I couldn't really function on a social level.
Anyway, this carried on for years, as soon as the stress came back, so did the acne.
It wasn't until I started uni (which was Art school) that I found myself doing things that I really wanted to be doing. My second year of uni, I was so busy and so consumed by art that I had the clearest skin I had had since I was pre-pill-popping! I realized then that my acne was induced by my sheer misery at not doing what I wanted to be doing. Keeping busy and working my mind this hard was literally clearing my skin up! However... sadly my life during uni wasn't at its most pleasant, and I went through a lot of particularly hard things, which once again caused my stress levels to flip off the charts.
By my third year, my skin was back to breaking out daily and I was consuming a ridiculous amount of sugar to deal with all the stress. BIG MISTAKE! I later discovered this was reacting with my stress hormones and multiplying the "Zit Effect"... I then spent a year off sugar entirely!...
Now, I really should stop this all here before you fall asleep from reading all these words, and tell you that I will continue in the next post... if any of you actually want to hear what I do now to keep my stress levels down and my skin as good as I can... (which nowadays is okay... it still has it's moments, but I think I have it almost under control! Touch wood!!!)
Let me know, and I shall rant on for a while more, and show you what I use. I honestly think it's made a huge difference, and I'd love to share it for those of you who know what I am talking about!!!
Photography by Albert Dedeu