Thursday, 25 August 2011

On Having The Wrong Type Of Acne!

Fedora: Vintage, Leather Jacket: Berskha, Top (Just seen) Disco Pony Reworked, Pink Pants: Zara (ikh, still mad!!!) Booties: ACNE

So, whilst I have exceeded my photobucket space already, I thought now would be the perfect time to do this post "On Having The Wrong Type Of Acne!" This is something I am sure applies to a whole heap of people, but something that never, ever feels like it does... It's a lonely, painful, aggravating affliction that does wonders to lower a girls (or guys- obv!) self esteem.
 Whilst owning a piece of ACNE is possibly as good as owning a Disco Pony piece (kudos for my not so subliminal advertising there!), actually HAVING acne is not. No, not at all. It sucks!
Now, I am a girl who happens to have both, and sadly, I suffer from both types, as my shoes are far too small for me and hurt like a mother f****r! However, normally, suffering should only occur with the second type of acne I speak of!
I think having actual acne must be pretty up there on the list of least fashionable things right? Hence I decided it must be talked about- because as a "fashionista" (Not sure how I feel about calling myself that... will mull it over and change when I can think of something more appropriate/correct!) I am always portraying my take on trends, and fashion etc, but you rarely will see me show "The Other Side"- The dark, sore faced side!
 One thing I have never, ever, everrr seen go out of fashion is having nice skin! I mean... there has been a whole load of different variations to "Fashionable Skin" over the years, but I'm preeeettttyyy sure that I've never seen acne on the trend cards! Right?! RIGHT!
So, what is a girl to do when she has it, when the world feels like its completely against you enjoying your youthful, non wrinkly skin...? I actually don't have all the answers... BUT I DO have a few! All of which I will share with you in great detail when I give Photobucket some money, and it lets me resume posting!!! But for now, I wanted to share my acne story with you, because, you never know... It might apply! Here goes...

When I was young, I never needed anyone... and making love was just for fun... KIDDING... sorry, I had to do that, I started with "When I was young!" Try again,
When I was young... I (agh, it's actually really hard not to repeat that!!!) I had supppperrrr, duuuuperrrr, clear as water skin. It lasted me all through the usual awkward stages of teendom, right up until I was 16... when I thought it would be a good idea to take the pill in order to make my boobs bigger! Yep! I honestly dont regret much in my life more than that decision, especially now that I embrace my non boobs and sleeping on my front, no woes! I think about a week into taking that evil little thing, my face started to break out into these tiny pimples all over my forehead. At the time, I was actually completely happy with this, as I thought it must be working, and my boobs were about to become HUGE! Er, NO! The pimples just kept on coming, and I for reasons unbeknown did not think to get off that thing as soon as possible! So, instead, I went through about 6 different variations of the thing that were supposed to help with acne. The problem is, if you dont have acne or crazy hormones to begin with, the pill just gives them all to you! The phrase "If it ain't broken, don't fix it" springs to mind... So if anybody out there is reading this who is young enough to be thinking about taking that little white devil... I must tell you, if you have clear skin, and no boobs... don't do it! Just be happy with your face, and sleep on your front and dont wear a bra with great pleasure!!! Trust me, it's the wisest choice!

So.. I could actually go on about this for a really long time, mainly because it lasted a really long time before I thought to come off it! I did, and it helped a lot, but my hormones were already completely screwed up... so at the mere suggestion of a stressful event, my face would explode into the most painful, red, sore, miserable, owchiness, and I would spend days alternating between crying and picking at it.
This literally went on for YEARS... I have so many horror stories I could spend hours writing about, but I really ought to wait until you ask, else I could have a very silent blog on my hands!

I think the worst time was when I started working in the City (London)- as in the "Financial district" and just in finance in general really. My stress levels literally sky rocketed, and despite my huge amounts of income I was suddenly earning, none of it could buy clear skin! Much to the annoyance of my boss at the time, I started coming into work in a baseball cap! Now, when you work in finance, this is not really allowed per say! I started a lazer treatment at this time which cost me thousands of pounds... the offending treatment was called N-Lite, if anybody has heard of it and was thinking of trying it... please, don't do it... it's a complete scam, and will leave you with a VERY sore face indeed and possible bankruptcy! I will never forget going to Harley Street as in cognito as possible... I'm talking scarves, hats, and sunglasses here, even in rain! You couldn't have the treatment with make up on, nor could you cover up the redness afterwards, so I always left the practice feeling broke, sore and HIGHLY self conscious. I then had to go back to work, which was even worse, as I worked in a completely male office, and I am more than sure I wasn't hired in the first place for my mathematical skills if you get what I mean!!! Needless to say, I got fired from this job... I was so depressed and introverted from my skin that I couldn't really function on a social level.
Anyway, this carried on for years, as soon as the stress came back, so did the acne.
It wasn't until I started uni (which was Art school) that I found myself doing things that I really wanted to be doing. My second year of uni, I was so busy and so consumed by art that I had the clearest skin I had had since I was pre-pill-popping! I realized then that my acne was induced by my sheer misery at not doing what I wanted to be doing. Keeping busy and working my mind this hard was literally clearing my skin up! However... sadly my life during uni wasn't at its most pleasant, and I went through a lot of particularly hard things, which once again caused my stress levels to flip off the charts.
By my third year, my skin was back to breaking out daily and I was consuming a ridiculous amount of sugar to deal with all the stress. BIG MISTAKE! I later discovered this was reacting with my stress hormones and multiplying the "Zit Effect"... I then spent a year off sugar entirely!...
Now, I really should stop this all here before you fall asleep from reading all these words, and tell you that I will continue in the next post... if any of you actually want to hear what I do now to keep my stress levels down and my skin as good as I can... (which nowadays is okay... it still has it's moments, but I think I have it almost under control! Touch wood!!!)
Let me know, and I shall rant on for a while more, and show you what I use. I honestly think it's made a huge difference, and I'd love to share it for those of you who know what I am talking about!!!

Photography by Albert Dedeu


Christine Tay said...

Hi Zoey!

I hardly have acne but when i had it, its really big and sore and GROSS! Haha.

I recently started on SKII and it really works wonder, although theres still breakouts but it really helps to clear the skin quickly. Lols!

Take good care ya!

Miri said...

Hi Zoey,

your story really touched me because I know exactly what you are talking about.
However, with me it's the other way round - as soon as I get off the pill, my face is bursting with acne - so for now I'll stick to the hormones (although I really don't like taking the pill).


According to Annika said...

Zoey dearest loveliest most wonderful creature out there, thank you times a billion for sharing this with us. The exact same thing happened to me when I first got on the pill, you couldn't even make out the "real" skin on my cheeks since they were all covered in dark purple bumps. And let's say that's not the best thing that can happen when you're a self-hating teenager who on top of everything is already being told off by her modeling agency for being "short", "fat" and "plain". (Umm, YES, quotation marks needed!!!)

Even though my skin eventually cleared up by itself, being on the pill still did its best to make my life hell - it completely killed my sex drive, and I'm pretty sure it didn't do anything to help with my depression. Still I refused to stop taking it since it honestly did wonders for my period cramps (the reason I went on it in the first place). But oh how I wish they could come up with a pain killer that didn't have to ruin your skin, your relationships and your personality. GODDAMNIT.

A few years back, I started getting terrible breakouts every time my stress levels were too high, and that's still the case. It starts on my chin, and if I don't manage to find some kind of inner balance, it spreads to my cheeks and forehead. Lovely, absolutely lovely. When I'm lucky, I can cover most of it with makeup, but most of the time, the sores are so "watery" that it makes the make up clump up and... ok, enough of that.

Anyway, I feel so bad for everyone who has to deal with having really bad skin, because you're absolutely right - it's like our society's view on beauty has decided that having a bad complexion and being beautiful are polar opposites. Which means we try desperately to cover up our blemishes with make up - the worst thing we can do to our poor skin when all it needs is to breathe. And the cruel reality is of course that the more we obsess about it, the worse it gets.

I would love to hear your advice on how to handle these issues. The only thing I've found so far that works for me is to simply don't give a crap. So, my chin is covered by pimples at the moment? SO WHAT! That's nobody's business and NOONE whose opinion matters would ever care about such a silly detail. I've come to realize that my boyfriend couldn't care less about what my complexion looks like, just like my friends and family - so why should I? As long as I'm (somewhat) healthy, I refuse to let unimportant things like acne get to me. But I know that this comes with age and depends on your situation and circumstances. If someone had told me when I was 16 "not to care", I would have been like, "yeah, sure, awesome advice, I'm going to ponder that while I kill myself" (overdramatic, whaaat, who? ME?).

I love you, baby. And you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever "met". No matter what your skin looks like.

Make Shift Model (CEO and Designer at Disco Pony) said...

@ Christine, Thank you so much for the recommendation... I've been eyeballing that for so long, but I can't quite scrounge the price tag for something I'm not sure works! But I might try it if I ever have a dime!!!! :) <3
@ Miri, I am sooo glad that this post touched you... I will for sure be writing part two now! I totally understand, you were the other way around case, in which, it works like a charm... I went from nothing wrong to everything! Silly, silly girl!!! But I am glad something is working for you...even if it is the pill, its a godsend to some for sure! :) <3
@ Annika... well, you know my response to you! I was so blown away by this amazing response... i love you endlessly. Thank you for thinking what you do, no matter what my skin is like :) KEEPER YOU ARE! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

la tiquismiquis said...

oh, this text is so sweet, zoey! :)

la tiquismiquis

Natalie Suarez said...

hi beautiful!! LOVE U MISS U! :)


Coralie said...

I ADORE this outfit !


Ankita said...

We must have been interrupted by our BFF yesterday since I didn't get to hear the whole of this story but it was a good read. Super touching and judging from the comments, it is evidently something lots of people can connect with!

Also I like this Annika. Must check her out! I read the entire comment and was like wowwwwww. blown away.

ALICE MARGO † said...

GORGEOUS photo!x

Dolls Factory said...

plese please please share with us these beauty secrets.
Same story here, I had a horrible teen skin and now doesn't get that much acne as before but I haven't found nothing else apart from the Clinique treatment.

Always following
The Dolls Factory

the fashlight said...

i've seeen those booties before!



Anonymous said...

My skin is far from being perfect, of course in 16 is was worse, but now it's getting better. Thanks for sharing your story, because I never took any pills with hormones and din't have any idea that things like this can happen.
I think that our mood influences the quantity and quality of the food we eat. I'm a terrible sweet tooth so I need to control myself permanently.
It would be good if you write about beauty secrets for skin imperfections!
Great blog you have there.

The French Bun

Christine Tay said...

Hi Zoey,

Since you are in Hongkong, you can visit Sasa, the cosmetic shop that is everywhere in HKG to get small bottle of SKII (ie, travel size -- 30mls). You can give it a try first before buying the big bottle. The facial treatment essence is really miracle water. wahahaha :)

Enjoy, please do share if you really get it. I would be really happy if my little tips managed to help you. :)

Keep up the great blog!

Laura said...

you look great :)

Izzy/Bella said...

Hi Zooey,

I think that's so great you are getting information out there about the pill's side effects... NO ONE told me there'd be any other side effect than maybe a little weight gain and they said it would be minimal! Well, it wasn't. I literally looked like those fertility figurines from the stone ages. It was like my body was making up for how infertile I was making it-- giant ass and tits. Plus...I couldn't stop crying. I cried every day I was on the pill. I thought I was losing my flipping mind. This happened to several of my friends on Ortho-Tricylen I found out later. The doctor never warned me, so I didn't connect it till later. And speaking of connecting later...I never thought the acne phase I went through from 22-25 might have been connected to the pill?? My mother had zero acne and my dad only had a little, so I don't think it was genetic. I had it so, so bad. You can't help but feel self-conscious and terrible when you have bursting pustules all over your face. It really affected my life, sad to say. It did help to stop eating chocolate. I thought that was an old wive's tale but a friend suggested it, I tried it, and it worked. Also fries and popcorn...anything really oily. I was also very stressed out at the time. In the wrong relationship for me, not happy with my life. I think I'm a bit older than I can say the upside of acne (there is one :)) is oily skin and acne when you're younger means far fewer wrinkles when you're older! Someone older told me that when I was younger, and it really comforted me. All that fire and oil making acne now equals better skin later ;) My scars from the pimples on my cheeks even faded after years and years. Also I discovered Burt's Bees, just the ointment stick for small blemishes is MAGICAL for making spots disappear quicker without scarring and changing my diet to a healthier one helped. I still get some pimples and have to live with it, but also switching to a vegetarian diet for my period cramps helped both my cramps and my skin...Just hope the white spots in my nails aren't an ominous sign I need to be eating meat or that my nutrition is bad! Otherwise I feel great... Hope that's helpful to anyone!

Thanks for posting this!